My Nana really wanted me to be a sexy girl when I was a kid. She isn’t a pervert, she is just a little bit of a skanky grandma. Growing up as a chubby, shy wallflower, I had no concept of what was sexy. Instead of going to spin the bottle parties in middle school, I liked to play “hide and go seek”, and barbies with my kid sister, Katie. My whole look, and attitude was very immature. This bothered Nana. She would make comments like, “Don’t you have any boys you could call up to come over and watch a movie with?” Instead I preferred to play dress-up with Katie. At Thanksgiving, she would encourage me to be careful not to eat too much, stating that I “had enough meat on my bones already”. I have to admit, it really got to me. Being as insecure as I was, I did not need all this criticism.
On Christmas, when I was 11 years old, my Nana kept stressing how much I would enjoy the present she got for me. I wasn’t very excited seeing as how she always got me weird ceramic sculptures of cats that she must have picked up from the clearance section at a local pharmacy.When I got to her present, it was larger than a ceramic cat, or a bottle of knock-off perfume. Maybe this year she would surprise me. When I pulled the gift-wrapping off, it was a pink box with “Victoria’s Secret” written on it. I thought, Wow! I’m only 11, what in the world could this be?When I pulled off the top of the box, I could see white lace peeking out under the pink tissue paper. It was a nightie with matching lace panties. Definitely meant for a woman, not a little chubby redhead with no boobs. (Well I did have “boobs” I guess. Because I was overweight, I had fat lumps where my boobs should be) Despite all of this, I was secretly excited. I always tried to buy the more flashy, womanly panties at the department store, but my Mom was adamant about buying me the 6-pack of white “Hanes Her Way” briefs. She wouldn’t even get me the bikini briefs. I was only allowed the kind that came up over my belly button, almost reaching my breasts. When my mom saw the new ensamble, she gasped with disgust. She said, “Nana! Tara is too young for that!” Nana ignored Mom and with a devilish smile asked me if I liked her gift. Embarrassed, I didn’t answer. I looked over at my brothers, who seemed like they were mentally blocking out the whole situation. I think it was a bit too much for them having to picture their kid sister in lace lingerie. After we finished with opening presents, we headed to church. The whole time I was sitting in church, instead of praising the birth of Christ, I was imagining what the nightie would look like on me. I wondered if maybe in a year or so, my body would change and I could wear it with pride.
When we finally got home, I rushed upstairs to try on the outfit. I was lucky that my Mom was so distracted with house guests, and preparing dinner. She would have confiscated the gift under normal circumstances. So I took off my Sunday best, and my “Hanes Her Way” Briefs and stared at my nudy, premature body to assess how this would look on me. With rolls-galore the outlook wasn’t good. But I tried it on anyway. How frustrating! It looked ridiculous. Since I only had a little bit of fat bumps where my boobs should’ve been, the top hung down so far you could see my nipples. It needed some bigger, perkier boobs to fill it out. The panties cut into my love handles so far, you couldn’t even see the fabric because my fat was hanging over it. Oddly enough, I still felt a little sexy. Just knowing that I owned lingerie, whether it looked good on me or not, felt good. I began to wrangle up some ideas to make it look more flattering. I pulled the panties up on the sides, so it was over, not under the fat. Then, I grabbed a hair twisty and tied the straps in the back into a bundle, so the top would fit more properly in the front. It looked a lot better, except for one annoying factor. I had soft nipples. My nipples had never been hard in my life until I was about 17. I would try every trick in the book to make them hard. Tickle them with a feather, rub ice on them, nothing worked. I really wanted to have hard nipples in this lingerie. So I came up with a great idea. I got dressed (with the nightie on underneath my clothes) and I ran to the downstairs cupboard. My mom always had a bag of Hershey kisses in there, so I found it, grabbed two, then went back to my room. I took off my clothes, then peeled back the Hershey kiss wrappers, and put them in my shirt, where my nipples should be. I had to stand with perfect posture, and stick my chest out to make them stay. It looked great. Very convincing. I stood in front of my mirror and modeled the outfit for myself for a little while. I grabbed my lamp from my desk, and placed it on the dresser as a spotlight. It got pretty hot, and I began to sweat. Before I knew it, my Hershey Kiss nipples started to melt. I quickly took off the top and noticed two large chocolate stains. I quickly ran to the bathroom, holding my t-shirt out so it wouldn’t press against my chest, which was also covered in chocolate. When I went to the bathroom, my brother was in it taking a shower. So I went to my parent’s room, but my Dad was using the bathroom. I wouldn’t dare go downstairs to clean off the stains, afraid my mom would find out. So I waited in my room, and listened by the door to hear when someone left the bathrooms. Ten minutes later, I finally got in there. The chocolate had dried, which made it pretty hard to clean. First, I washed off my chest, then I scrubbed the shirt. When I was done, there were still two stains, but now they were bigger from the scrubbing. Not knowing how to do my own laundry yet, I had no choice but to throw it away and tell my Mom I lost it, or confront her about what I did, and ask her to wash it. I chose to pretend that I lost it. My Mom actually never asked about it. Maybe she, like my brothers chose to block the thought of me having lingerie in my possession out of her mind.