Let me try to think back to the first time I binged and purged…ah yes, it was at the ripe age of 11. You know, all that pressure from the media to look thin, it got to me too.
On Christmas morning, 1995, after all the presents were open, and our bellies were full of Dad’s famous pancakes, I retreated to the upstairs bathroom for my usual routine. I threw up everything as fast as I could to get that buzzy head rush that I just adored. When I flushed, the toilet started to overflow…no problem, the handy plunger was right there, so I began to plunge. This time it wasn’t going to work, the toilet completely overflowed filling the bathroom floor with pancake-water. I tried my best to sop it up with toilet paper and paper towels, and it seemed the worst was behind me, but oh no, it was just beginning. I heard a scream from the downstairs from my mom. She screamed my name so I ran to the kitchen. She was standing there with a scowl on her face, while my brothers and my father were on a ladder at the ceiling lamp recovering the massive amounts of pancake-water-throw-up that was pouring out from the ceiling. It was disgusting, and my entire fault.
I will never forget the look on my mother’s face, and when she said, “But Tara, It’s Christmas!”