Mompocalypse Now

The usual sounds in my house while I am trying to take a shower:

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.  “stop that, sir.”  BANG BANG BANG BANG.  “griiifffitth, stop, please”.  “MOMMY??  Where are you Mommy?  WAAAAH.  Mommmmmmyyy”  “Mommy is in the shower, Griffith.  Come here and help me with baby sister.”  CRASH! BANG! CRASH!  “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh wah wah wah wah wah WAAAAAAAHHH!”  “GRIFFITH!  WHAT HAPPENED??!”  “Ouch, Daddy, OOUCH!”  “Oh, NO Griffith, Don’t do that.  That’s a No-No-no!  You have to be more careful.  Here, now it is all better”  WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAhhhh.  “Baby girl, its gonna be okay.  Its okay girl.  NO GRIFFITH!  NO SIR! NOOO SIR!  Baby girl, its okay.  Griffith, put that down and lets play with Savannah.  Come here, lets make her laugh.”  “Okay, Daddy.  Juck a minute!….OWWWW!  OUCH!  WAH WAH, Mommy kiss it!  Mommy Kiss it!”  “No, Mommy is in the shower, Griff.  Just come here and help me make baby sister laugh.”  “No!  Playground!  Lets Go on a special trip.”  “We will in just a minute, Griff.  Be patient. We have to wait for Mommy to finish her shower.”  Mommy!?  Mommy?  Mooommmmmyyyy???  Wheerrreee arrrreee yooouuuuu??”  BANG BANG BANG BANG.


Basically it sounds like a war zone outside the door.

By this point I am usually leaning against the shower wall letting the water run over my head, and trying to hum the background sounds away.  Reminiscent of a scene from any movie that involves a mental hospital or a mental patient or a woman in mourning.

I yell out, “I will be right there, Griff”.  I get out of the shower.  It is suddenly eerily quiet.  I get out of the bathroom to see all three of my family members quietly giggling on the couch, calm, having a blast together.  The calm after the storm.  Seems like the storm is just more convenient to take place at the exact time that Mommy is trying to relax in the shower, or bath, or when I am trying to get work done, or trying to take a nap.  Its just the way it is.

Weird thing is, if it went away, I would miss it terribly.  If the house was totally quiet while I was in the shower, I would probably be depressed.  Strange how I have grown to really love chaos.

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