I Shit In Public

Why is it taboo to take a shit in public restrooms?  I don’t get it.  I have heard so many people say, “eeww, you shit in there?  Why didn’t you just wait to go home?”  What?  Why?  What if you are on vacation?  What if you are at the office?  What if you are on a road trip?  Why is it wrong?  Why is it gross?  What are you supposed to do in the bathroom if you can’t shit?  Is pissing okay?  I assume it is.  Which doesn’t make much sense because pissing has more potential to be messy and spray everywhere than a heavy shit log.  And I assume I can change out my pad or tampon, but that is much grosser than shit, because period blood smells like a dead fish that has been dying in the sun for a few hours.  And you have to like, get in there, and really touch that shit.  Taking out a tampon is nasty.  You can try to use toilet paper wrapped around your hand, but that really doesn’t work without it ripping up or getting drenched in bloody fishy liquid.  So why can I change my tampon with no judgement, but I can’t take a harmless shit?  The other day, at a Dixie House Cafe, I went to take a shit because I just ate the pancake combo special, and time was running out.  And while I am relieving myself, I read something that someone carved into the wall in front of me, the words, “you are really going to poop here?  ewwww.  go home.”  It is in the middle stall of the women’s restroom in Haltom City, if you want to see it.  But it was very intimidating to have to stare at that while I was shitting.  I felt bullied.  Bullied by some stranger’s carving that may have been carved 10 years ago.  That person may be dead now.  But I still felt mad at the carver.  And I feel mad at all you crazy people who drive home to take a crap.  I don’t discriminate against toilets, and you shouldn’t either.

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